Rube Catalogue: Essential Purchase

“If a tree falls in the woods and no-one is around to hear it, does it really make a sound?” See, even Confucius was a bit of a Rube, but hey, little did he know that in our post-9/11 society where danger and evil are rife, he’d have a point. If you’re getting murdered or are the unwitting victim of terror and you scream for help and no-one is around to hear, do you really make a sound? Make your cry for help heard by the underpaid telephonist at the other end of The Emergency Cell Phone. (As seen on TV)

Just $99.95 for instant security.

LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!