Rube War

…and still giggling away while I type, making my fingers hit the wrong keys, and actually, infuriating me a little, we have possibly the most rubey activity in the world, exposed for your entertainment by Rube Watch.

War Re-Enacting

Now, war is a bad thing, right? I mean, apart from liberating the Iraqis from their limbs and houses, war, as a concept, essentially…is a bad thing.

OK.

Well, some rubes see it as a bit of a hobby. Reliving past wars and getting a right kick out of it.
Sixty grown men.
In a field.
In costumes.
With fake guns.
Gives your average rube an erection just thinking about it. They even assign themselves rank, divisions, platoons, and fake names and ages. Jesus.

Now, when Rube Watch began our investigation, we’d planned a lengthy tirade against the Civil War Re-Enactors and the Custer’s last stand re-enactors, they being so far into history, that some type of tourist spectacle is possibly understandable, but certainly not acceptable as a personal pastime and warranted an extra thrashing to get a chuckle out of you. Something along the lines of what it would be like to re-enact Vietnam or something: “Hey Billy Bob, you gotta be the gook t’day. Ahm sick a wearin the slit-eye make-up and grinnin all day”

However, during our investigations, we found this, which warrants no comment at all. For a particular kick, check out the personal galleries of each platoon soldier by clicking their photo.

We also found the WW2 re-enactors…both German (look out for Hans Gruber in the “Soldaten” section, showing again the lack of originality of your average rube – in fact, re-enacting suits rubes right to the ground on that point), and the particularly flaunty of authenticity, the British (check out the car park and Football Stadium). You’ll note that, in fact, that they’re all American.

However, in order to really get back to the original ideology of Rube Watch, that of naming and shaming actual individual rubes, quite apart from every asshole involved, particularly those Vietnam guys (actually, I’m going to have another look at that. Check out 2nd Lt. Joel F. Kinney aka Tom Fucking Berenger. Semper fi, gung ho gung ho gung ho…Joel), we’ve pinpointed one particular PERP, who, in being a fat, southern, University policeman, who in his part time rides about calling himself Captain Brian Del Vecchio of the U.S. 7th Cavalry, drags his family into it, and has a site dedicated to himself, beginning with the rallying cry FORWARD YO! rather than focusing on the rubism that is re-enactment in general, thereby putting himself in the firing line like so many rubes before him, we say, Officer Brian Del Vecchio, of University of Virginia Police Department, Charlottesville…you’ve led your last Rube-Charge soldier