Friday, May 02, 2003

Rube War

…and still giggling away while I type, making my fingers hit the wrong keys, and actually, infuriating me a little, we have possibly the most rubey activity in the world, exposed for your entertainment by Rube Watch.

War Re-Enacting

Now, war is a bad thing, right? I mean, apart from liberating the Iraqis from their limbs and houses, war, as a concept, essentially…is a bad thing.

OK.

Well, some rubes see it as a bit of a hobby. Reliving past wars and getting a right kick out of it.
Sixty grown men.
In a field.
In costumes.
With fake guns.
Gives your average rube an erection just thinking about it. They even assign themselves rank, divisions, platoons, and fake names and ages. Jesus.

Now, when Rube Watch began our investigation, we’d planned a lengthy tirade against the Civil War Re-Enactors and the Custer’s last stand re-enactors, they being so far into history, that some type of tourist spectacle is possibly understandable, but certainly not acceptable as a personal pastime and warranted an extra thrashing to get a chuckle out of you. Something along the lines of what it would be like to re-enact Vietnam or something: “Hey Billy Bob, you gotta be the gook t’day. Ahm sick a wearin the slit-eye make-up and grinnin all day”

However, during our investigations, we found this, which warrants no comment at all. For a particular kick, check out the personal galleries of each platoon soldier by clicking their photo.

We also found the WW2 re-enactors…both German (look out for Hans Gruber in the “Soldaten” section, showing again the lack of originality of your average rube – in fact, re-enacting suits rubes right to the ground on that point), and the particularly flaunty of authenticity, the British (check out the car park and Football Stadium). You’ll note that, in fact, that they’re all American.

However, in order to really get back to the original ideology of Rube Watch, that of naming and shaming actual individual rubes, quite apart from every asshole involved, particularly those Vietnam guys (actually, I’m going to have another look at that. Check out 2nd Lt. Joel F. Kinney aka Tom Fucking Berenger. Semper fi, gung ho gung ho gung ho…Joel), we’ve pinpointed one particular PERP, who, in being a fat, southern, University policeman, who in his part time rides about calling himself Captain Brian Del Vecchio of the U.S. 7th Cavalry, drags his family into it, and has a site dedicated to himself, beginning with the rallying cry FORWARD YO! rather than focusing on the rubism that is re-enactment in general, thereby putting himself in the firing line like so many rubes before him, we say, Officer Brian Del Vecchio, of University of Virginia Police Department, Charlottesville…you’ve led your last Rube-Charge soldier

3 Comments:

At 9:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As humorous as your page may be, it is truly sad that you do not get the purpose of why many of us participate in War re-enacting. You actually have no right to make an educated judgement when you obviously have no expertise in the area and know NOTHING personally about myself or anyone associated with my organization. Although I am sure there are a few re-enactment groups that live out some sick fantasy, I assure you ours is not. Do not let your ignorance get in the way of enlightenment as there is a little truth in all things. You obviously have no clue what truth is or you would check yourself and shut your mouth. If you would actually take a second and read our mission statement, you would see that we are hardly Rubes. We wish to honor those who have not been honored. Our group www.pnwhg.org/1stcav does rifle firing details (that is a 21 gun salute for idiots like yourself) for the Vietnam Veteran's War Memorial every year. We would not do what we do if it were not for the support and endorsement of Vietnam Veterans themselves. The battle re-enactment is just a very small portion of what we do. We volunteer our time and services all the time for special events, parades and memorials. All of which is for free and without re-embursement of our time away from work and family. I ask you... when was the last time you took the time to give of yourself to something bigger than you, or are you too busy making fun of people who you know nothing about to make you feel better about your ugly face? You couldn't be farther off course. Our events are for our Fathers and brothers! One last thing, OUR GUNS AREN'T FAKE, THEY ARE REAL YOU IDIOT! I will give you one chance to remove my name from the site or I will sue your ass! I have several Vietnam War veteran friends who are attorneys who would love nothing more than to sue you for defamation of character just out of principle!

 
At 10:42 PM, Blogger Snotty McShot said...

Dear JOEL F KINNEY

Thank you for your comments. In view of the gravity of the issues raised, and with regard to the fact that this website has not been updated in quite some time, I felt it more appropriate to deal with your concerns in depth, and with the respect they deserve, here.

Thank you once again for stopping by.

I remain yours etc.

Snotty McShot

 
At 7:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sittin in me undies. It's awesome.

 

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