Rube Teens

Quick! Who remembers the Santa Clara County v Southern Pacific Railroad Corp. decision?

Time's up...now!

It's the landmark 1886 case that legally defined a corporation as a person. Yeah, that's right. Are you one?

Over time, Santa Clara County v Southern Pacific Railroad Corp., of course, led to all kinds of organizations and associations becoming people just like you and me!

"Oh no. He's going to-," you probably began.

"You know, he kind of looks like Brad Pitt," you did not add.

Fear not, Rube Watchers, I have no intention of rubing the Supreme Court. When they're not too busy deciding elections and trying to decide if it's OK to execute retarded people, the justices of the US Supreme Court actually do some pretty good things. I'll give 'em a free pass on that 2000 election since they made corporations and organizations people, which lets me now rube the slanted brow and hairy palms of that little punk Teenagers for Republican Victory. Let's hear the bed-wetter in his own words:

Teenagers For Republican Victory does not support or promote a platform of issues. We support President Bush, the Republican Congress, and the Republican National Committee in their united agenda to better America.

We have no ideas, no thoughts. We're just a giant rubber stamp for any bile running from a Republican's mouth.

Yes, this is our youth of today, our America of tomorrow, goose-stepping proudly behind their daddy's brand name. These are the children of the future, taught well and showing us the way to jump behind the loudest voice with the simplest explanation.

That guy, Teenagers For Republican Victory, he's a fuckin' rube.