Rube Watch Reads Its Mail

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this Rube Watch thing is getting out of hand. What began as a small forum to exchange rube-ish ideas is sweeping the land like some dark cumulo nimbus. The response has been overwhelming.

Jerry, from San Francisco, writes: "I used to have problems with this total fuckin' rube. He's ignorant and verbally abusive and kept me constantly on edge. It got so bad I donned war paint and stalked his family, hiding for three days in the hedges along his driveway with a megaphone and three buckets of dead minnows. On the fourth morning I overheard his neighbors discussing something called Rube Watch and thought, 'Hey, this might be for me.' Thanks to you, Rube Watch, I didn't commit three counts of felony assault!"

And the letters keep pouring in!

Irina, from Belarus, writes: "When the Iron Curtain lifted, I finally saw the sun. When Rube Watch came, I finally saw the light."

Aswan, from Amman, Jordan, tells us: "There's an old Arabic proverb that says, 'Thou shalt not stare at the camel's toe if thou cannot look the beast in the eye.' What does this mean?, you're probably asking. You must find this meaning within yourself."

Thanks for the tip, Aswan!

Boy, let me tell ya, we never thought we'd get such a response to our rube-ish dialogues. We never expected to be..."e-celebrities", I think, is the term Newsweek used. But we're taking it all in stride. We're not letting it go to our heads. Because, in the end, none of the fame and adulation matters. No, at the end of the day, when we shut down our computers and head home to dive into a delicious Iowa Steak from Rube's Meat Company (1-800-84-RUBES), proudly serving meat to working folks like you and me since 1973, what matters is that we're still Trey and Jimmy and Slitzy and "Chains" from the block.